Thursday, June 29, 2006

Miracle or co-incidence?



Circa - June 24, 2006. After having delayed my Tirupati trip for quite some time (read-one year), I finally decided that it was time that I go ahead and with it on my own.

I finally managed to complete my much awaited Tirupati trip! One thing is certain, under the circumstances in which we managed to have the Lord's Darshan can only mean that there are certain things @ work which I definitely cannot understand and would like to leave it best that way! Here is what happened:-

Started @ the bottom of the hill by steps (June 24, 2006 - 1400 hours)- checked with the Sudarshan (Rs. 50) counter for availabilty of tickets and was greeted with a sign saying that the next tickets are for June 26 - noon! Decided to go walk up the hill and check the availability there and take things as they come! When we reached the top of the hill and were attempting to figure out what our options are, some guy approached us and asked us if we would like to buy tickets for Darshan - what he had available was VIP darshan tickets. He mentioned that he had already finished the Darshan and had extra tickets on him and was looking forward to sell them off, so that he can make a move to go home. The ticket mentioned that it was Rs. 100 per person and this particular ticket was the same day and was paid for 3 people. We were three. We hesitated a bit, but seeing it as an opportunity, just went ahead and paid him - he asked only the cost of the ticket and nothing extra! Finished with the tonsuring, and went for Darshan and were in and out of the temple in under one hour! I was quite sceptic of the entire thing untill I was actually in the temple and trust me, this was one totally different experience!

What says you?

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Friday, June 23, 2006

U want that home .... here is Santa CLAUSE

Here is an excerpt from a well known and leading Newspaper that has highlighted the concern..... this goes to show that if your contribution to the payment of the house is lower (10 or 15%), you are in deep water. Higher your contribution to the loan, lesser your risk... so to speak! Read this.....
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It’s a clause buried deep in the home loan agreement. But it may rise and become a cause for concern if property prices fall long enough!Not quite a clause for concern yet, but if property prices fall far enough, trouble lies ahead. Buried deep in the bowels of any home loan agreement is a sub-head that goes, ‘events of default’, within which is tucked away a clause that in English means, if the value of the house for which a loan has been taken falls below the loaned amount, the bank, unilaterally, can demand that the borrower make good the difference, or else be declared a defaulter.
The first time this clause was brought to my notice by a former colleague, I dismissed it as not possible. I argued that by the same absurd logic, if property prices rise, the bank should make good the difference or lower the interest rate or give some benefit to the borrower. It was when we asked for copies of home loan agreements from India’s top banks and housing finance companies that we realised that if reading them is an exercise in optics and decoding them a lawyers’ delight, simply getting hold of them is a goal even the Brazilian team wouldn’t be able to score.
But yes, the clause stands strong. In each and every home loan agreement. In fine print. Each a virtual mirror of the other. Even the words and expressions (“security for the loan” or “depreciates in value” or “in the opinion of the bank” or “in the sole discretion and decision of the bank” and suchlike) are so much like each other that one wonders whether lawyers are really as uncreative as their final product suggests.
This clause had little meaning in a real estate market whose building blocks turned small dreams into huge skyscrapers, rising anything between 70 and 150 per cent in three years. Overnight speculators found a haven where their unaccounted for cash could multiply. So rampant was this practice that in November 2005 I got an e-mail from one of Delhi’s reputed builders offering a “special financing scheme”. All investors had to do was put in 10 per cent of the “sale consideration” upfront, a leading bank would finance another 85 per cent, with the balance 5 per cent to be given on possession. No EMI would have to be paid till possession. Come possession day, the investor will have the option to sell the apartment back to the builder at a guaranteed appreciation of 10 per cent. It was a win-win for all parties. The builder got the money upfront to build. The buyer didn’t have to pay EMIs in the construction period and he could sell at a 10 per cent premium.
Nobody’s offering such deals anymore. As Deepak Parekh noted last week, investors have realised that by the time houses are constructed, prices would have fallen. According to him, property prices that have fallen by 20 per cent in some places and are expected to drop further by 10-20 per cent across the board. Many other experts—bankers, builders, brokers, academics—too believe that prices will fall by 10 to 30 per cent over the next four to six months. And right at the top, YV Reddy has repeatedly expressed his apprehensions with high property prices.
When—and not if—they fall, the importance of this clause will rise. Take a survey of home owners who have purchased houses on borrowed funds to find out how many of them are even aware of this clause, leave alone its implications and the answer, after giving a huge room for error will be close to, if not less than, 0.01 per cent (this guestimate implies about 100 out of 1 lakh borrowers).
In a country that’s only beginning its tryst with sophisticated financial products and where financial literacy is weak even among the industry participants (ask a banker how mutual funds work, ask a mutual fund professional how insurance functions, ask an insurance broker about the fineprint of banking and you’ll draw a blank), clauses like these have little meaning. If tomorrow a bank decides to initiate default proceedings against a household, how far will it be able to go? Particularly, if the borrower has not missed a single EMI? More, will they be able to do so to a huge constituency of people?
As I argued these points with a top official at one of the largest players in business, he said, clearly, that the bank will not respond to a “hypothetical scenario”. Hypothetical? When the great property fall is just around the corner, the hypothetical hypothesis gets demolished. “It has been drafted by lawyers,” he said, “to protect the interests of the bank against a few bad elements.” He’s probably referring to some banks’ experience with car loans, where these “bad elements” would drive the cars off and not pay.
But when his boss on the top floor emphatically says that this is an end-user driven market, I begin to wonder just who’s fooling whom. The signal that then emerges is: we, as a bank, could sometimes be lazy with our due diligence and need to protect our backsides and hence lean on such clauses. By just one line, the banks have transferred the risk of market volatility (of which we are going to see much more in the months to come as the Indian property market gets securitised and institutionalised) to us borrowers.
This is not the first time this industry has been playing with its customers. A decade ago, the con was in showing a low rate of interest, when it was fixed, that is, not on reducing balance. Borrowers who went in for fixed rate loans three years ago, are realising that the rate is not really fixed; the bank has the option to turn it flexible. Why home loans, a car on loan can’t be driven out of the city. Why banking, the risk factors of an IPO are often marketing spiels. Why financial services, an airline has the right to drop you in Bangalore even if your ticket is to Delhi; travel agencies don’t disclose visa or airport taxes; exchange offers of white goods are at the discretion of dealers; telecom companies’ freebies begin to cost after a few months.
These practices, imported from the developed world without thought or modification, need to be quarantined: fine print has to be made bold, legalese has to give way to simplicity. Meanwhile, going forward, watch this default clause very carefully if you’re buying a house.
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Monday, June 12, 2006

I want that home theatre system.... its a steal!!!

How many times have all you gadget freaks heard yourselves saying that????Well, being a self confessed gadget freak myself and not wanting to blow all those hard earned bucks on ready made systems which will not give me all that I need...... I ended up with something pretty simple... providing you are willing to mess being the system for some time trying to figure out where the cables go!!... Gotcha.... Nah, fitting in a couple of systems together to make a home theatre system is as simple as taking a spoon to your mouth in the dark!! OK... that is a little out of sync.....

Here are my questions when you are out buying that awe inspiring home theatre system with the best of options and the neatest of gimmicks!!
Do you really need all that sound power? (not unless you are staying a palatial mansion that has some huge rooms, big enough for you not to get that echo!)
Does the disc player on that system play that cheap 50 buck disc that you bought off the street? More often than not.... NO WAY NO HOW!
Do you really need all the fancy HDTV settings? India does not even have HDTV cable signals yet!!!
Why go for the LCD/Plasma screen which gives you the same clarity as a standard CRT? The cost can be quite prohibitive for and LCD or a plasma TV! The best part is the current generation of CRT (boob tubes ;) occupy much less space and offer an equal/higher definition and clarity at a fraction of the cost!
Here is the biggie - does your disc player play all those dvds? ALL THOSE DVDS from everywhere in the world? More realistically, is it region free?? Nix. This is one system created to rip you off and make more money for all the big companies out there!

I am not attacking any brand or any big name out there.... what they are doing is caching in a market of lazy morons who wouldn't mind paying that extra buck to get something branded or something that is tagged cool!

Lets get down and dirty!Here is what we need:
~One good quality CRT TV with good built in speakers (a lot of them come with surround sound and woofers)
~one normal DVD player that supports 5.1 surround sound output - make sure that it also plays WMA and DIVx. (Take a couple of ripped dvds and a couple of your fav mp3s or wmas on CD to test it out) - preferrably with a built in graphic equalizer and some sound settings. Also make sure that the DVD player is an all region player!
~One set of 5.1 speakers which have an output of 1000 to 1500 watts (you don't want to blow the neighbour's walls considering the building quality nowadays!)
~Some connecting cords for all these
~Most importantly, a universal remote (again - no need to go for the jazzy branded ones)

Add it all up and now see the cost.... whoops... why is the home theatre maker charging so much???? Now you see the point!

Get them all and now relax.... all the pins and wires are colour coded and they do not need any more education than that.... unless you are color blind :-p If you really cannot make any sense of the cables, call your teenage nephew or your neighbour's kid. He probably will fix it for you and even set it up in a jiffy! Voila, now you are ready to experience the same thing that your neighbour paid a bomb for!
What do you do with the additional money that you had earmarked for the home theatre? Well....... call me and I'll give you my account # ;) Enjoy!

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Friday, June 09, 2006

Drive me crazy!

Drive me craaaazy baybeee ...... drive me craaaaaazy!
The radio is blaring loudly and as if to take a hint from the radio, a couple on a two wheeler with his entire family and perhaps his entire home decides to veer to the left for no apparant reason!!! Voila... screeching brakes, missed crashes and couple of verbal spats including some choiciest of verbal knives, blades and some dynamites thrown in for measure..... we are on our way!!!


Doesn't that sound soooo much like a page out of your morning diary?????
Welcome to Bangalore... banged out of proption!! Cultural melting pot, so they say! I would rather say its a khichdi (broth) boiling away to glory where some one forgot to put out the flame.... its creating a rather amusing mess all around.... but the broth is still boiling! Don't worry, the case is pretty much similar in your city too. Any city which has been blessed with good economic growth and people moving in from pretty much every where else, taxing the city's bursting seams!


The best part is.... people made their way in! Great. No, I am not being crazy and suggest that we tell them all to go away!! Then the economy will collapse! What I am aiming at is that people made their way in..... people made all that money... now they want to spend it. What do they do? Go buy that vehicle that they have been so wanting! Bingo, add a new, slick automobile on road statistics.... hey hey hey, I said add to the road statistics and you are zipping away already!!! Thats exactly what happens.... no road etiquette, no license and if the cop catches you, the hari pan ka patta is ready in the pocket! Moolah! Thats what speaks and thats what you got!


U are driving your brand new car with the mirrors open to see the traffic..... zoom.... click....thwack.... that was your rear view mirror on one of the sides, now on the road... why? Its that squeezing two wheeler! Damn.. just when you thought that there is no more space on the side for any one to overtake you and you were accomplishing some really good driving skills.... you are taught some new tricks..... why do all expensive cars drive with their rear view mirrors closed!!!


Parking? Where ever you find a free space wide enough to fit your vehicle!!
Here is some quiz for you... what is the most coveted parking space in your city??
Give up???? Right under the "NO PARKING" board.... especially if you are driving a police or govt vehicle!


Any place is safe as long as there is a kid collecting fare for the parking and issues you a ticket.... else you come back and make a mandatory trip to the local traffic police station, hassle with the cops and cough up cold hard cash for your hot sleek auto!


OK, so paid parking is good, safe and you get your auto back from the same parking space where you paid for and left it!! I just said you are bound to get your auto back in the same parking space.... I never said it would be in the same shape??? Road romeos standing against your auto pretending it was a wall... Damn, there goes the paint job!!!! Your neighbour at the parking lot happened to be in a hurry! Daam, there goes the paint job again!!!! Ever wonder why you did not save up and buy the tank from the army surplus store? Sideswiping other autos would have been such a painless activity! Sounds like fun... I am saving up to buy the neat two seater tank with a uzi perched on top. Does about 60 KMPH and gives about 5 KMs per Litre of petrol! It even has desert camaflouge painted! NEAT


Some say its safer to car pool. What about the poor guy who is the designated driver for the day/week? Hehehehehe. Let him suffer. When its my chance, wife took the car!!
Nuts around see a lady driving a car and they say "L" board! Whats that? "Lady board". What did you think? That she was a learner? Hell no, ladies drive much safer than guys. There are enough guys around who believe that if a lady is commanding a vehicle, its safer to keep away from that vehicle! Isn't that an amazing solution to keep your vehicle in sparkling condition? Engine? I never said your engine is going to remain under the hood! It fell off at the 10th mile marker!!


Autorikshaws!!! Enough has been said and they have been written down, commented to dust! But I hail them. Why? They are one unique breed who will take you from point A to point B within the least amount of time and fleece you before you can figure what happened!! They can squeeze into that tight spot where you lost your rear view mirror and manage to give you a neat little scratch for a reminder....Damn there goes the paint job some more! I am sanding the car tomorrow and driving it around with out any paint job on it. Got one up on you now! Now I drive YOU crazy!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Tryst with devilish Destiny!

The reviews are forming & 6 June 06 is being touted as the return of the OMEN. Fortunately, I did not have to wait that long to have my tryst with a very devilish destiny.Flash back to not so long ago on 18th March 2006... an idyllic saturday, just like any other....
Picture this....my car is just 3 days shy of its first b'day. I am returning home with my family....waiting at the traffic signal like law abiding citizen should and then...... without so much of a warning we hear the thud of metal crunching against metal and crash of glass breaking.... and before you know it, I actually felt and saw my car flying a couple of feet ahead!!!

Got out of the car, inspected the scene of the crime and what do I see..... its a transport vehicle bearing the sign of the satan (so to speak). The transport vehicle bore the registration number 666, and I happened to be its victim of choice!! What the driver claims is that the brakes on the vehicle snapped and he could not control the vehicle! The result of the most wonderful event.........

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2105544143&code=22507233&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite

Now what are the chances of that happening..... twisted, mangled metal and fibre, just three days short of your b'day! One thing that I do really thank my stars for is not purchasing a hatchback! What if I was driving a hatchback and not the sedan???? Well... what you see as a mangled rear of the car would still be the mangled rear of the car....only it would have been splattered with blood and flesh!! See for yourself... 3 feet was smashed to a couple of inches!
Alls well that ends well. My car spent its first anniversary in the garage getting herself fixed, tinkered and painted .... out with old and in with the new.... the destroyed parts that is.... Apparently the transport vehicle - Matador van - is one tainted with a reputation of brake failures, engine parts blowing up, axles giving way.... it has been in the center of a lot of action (accident related) for the last decade in India, more specifically in the southern part! Its a pity I could not grab a couple of picures of the transport vehicle in all the mess that had occured!!
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2105543947&code=22507223&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite

To quote a couple of news paper aritcles.....

"Matador van drivers are all mad men from hell"
"Twenty-two pilgrims, including 17 women, were killed and 16 others injured Friday morning when a matador van collided head on with a truck carrying stone chips"
I'm glad I got off easy when compared to these reports!

Its back to me & my chariot and long rides again now, now that the arduous journey of repair and fix-it is behind....literally!!